Posts Tagged ‘tiny’
Okay, so you read about how this thing really can suck… well, I’m here to say that it will suck the rug off the floor and right up into the agitator! What a vacuum!
Tiny Love Stroller Play
I am enjoying reading from my Kindle very much. I, also, have been navigating around and discovering all that the Kindle can do.
Tiny Love Tiny Smarts
I am a taxi driver and I use my Kindle quite frequently when on a break or driving on an especially straight road, my favorite books are weepy stories of empowering women in the Middle East. Needless to say the Kindle has been an essiential item in my daily life.
One night however I learned the true importance of my kindle while working in Manhattan. It was around 10:00pm and I was driving a street looking for clients and getting sucked into yet another heartbreaking tale of a young woman hitting puberty in the desert. Out of nowhere a Ferrari comes around the corner and hits me head on, now I realize that since I was in their lane I should share some blame but what happens next is out of my hands. Instead of the car stopping and getting out to assess the damage it tries to continue on its path, which I have now inconveniently blocked. Next I hear gunshots and the windsheilds in both of our cars are shattered. Now I can see that it is a couple that slightly resemble Steve Carell and Tina Fey. They looked scared and try to back up, this is futile as our cars are now attached and inseparable, after several tries to no avail they decide to take me with them, wherever that might be. They accelerate and start to make my cab move whence I realize I have been stapping on the brake, which I stop immediately, expediating their process of excape. We travel down streets and downa alleys, still being pursued I assume. By now I have wet my pants and been praying for my life. The husband of the couple crawls out of his windsheild and into my car to take over driving and the couple are now working together to speed through red lights and weave in and out of traffic. Up ahead we see a police road block and as we approach I see the couple really has no idea what they are doing. Thinking fast I remember a time when I myself was being chased by police in one of my past occupations and had to escape. I use my leadership to direct the couple to break and accelerate when I tell them too
Tiny Love Musical Take
We got this for our 4 month old son to play with in the car. He loves it! He gets in the car and is ready to kick!
Tiny Love Frog Kick
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I said frostily.
The above is just one example in what I can only describe as a dialogue attribution holocaust. This is not just bad writing, it’s spectacularly inept writing. It is a literary abortion, so foul that it almost HAS to be intentional. If this book had been written as a parody of contemporary literature, it would deserve all of the attention that it has gotten. It would be kind of brilliant.
“Aren’t you hungry?” he asked distracted.
“No.” I didn’t feel like mentioning that my stomach was already full — of butterflies.
This book is a complete course on how NOT to write a book. It is stinking landfill of adverbs. It is an affront to literature, an insult to the craft with a thumb-smear of excrement fuming from every page. Someone named Jodi Reamer spent considerable time helping Stephanie get this book in shape before it was submitted to a publisher. I shudder to imagine what this book might have read like before this much-needed editing.
How does one swallow convulsively? How does someone hiss in a sentence with no ’s’ anywhere in their line of dialogue? How do you slam a door with excessive force? As opposed to slamming the door lightly? How do you intercept unfriendly glances from someone if the glances were already meant for you? There are hundreds, maybe thousands of lines throughout this book like this and even far worse.
This book should never have been published.
Ah, but it is so much worse than all of that, isn’t it? After all, it hit the Bestseller List and STAYED there. It has made MILLIONS of dollars. It’s no longer just a poorly plotted and terribly-written book. Now it’s a representation of the decline of literature. It’s a big neon sign announcing our collective failure as a species. This book outsold Water For Elephants, The Kite Runner, A Thousand Splendid Suns and other books far superior. It’s possible that it outsold all of them COMBINED. This is a book that was not read and enjoyed mere
Tiny Love Musical Take